Hollyoaks star Kieron Richardson has opened up about his coming out story on the soap's new podcast, Don't Filter Feelings.
Kieron, who has played Ste Hay on the Channel 4 soap since 2006, revealed that he never thought he'd be publicly speaking about his sexuality just a few years after leaving school, where he admits "all I wanted to do was hide it from everybody".
But a stint on Dancing on Ice in 2010, followed by his Hollyoaks character Ste's own coming out storyline prompted him to publicly confirm that he was gay during an interview on This Morning.
"I was trying to hide it but more people were asking me," Kieron explained on the podcast.
"I ended up doing Dancing on Ice and I couldn't hide who I was. I was showing everybody my actual real personality, not this horrendous person who at the time was beating up his girlfriend," he added, referring to Ste's domestic abuse plot with Amy Barnes.
He continued: "Twitter had just came out so you were seeing a little bit of things online from it, not anything negative, just people saying: 'I wonder if he's gay.'
"Obviously my family still didn't know at this point and a newspaper at the time rang Hollyoaks and said: 'We know Kieron's gay and we've got three gay kiss and tell stories.' But this conversation happened while my mother was with us at the time and she was like: 'Three gay what...?'
"I was like: 'Oh mum, let's sit down in the house and talk about this.' I had a discussion with my mum and it was quite emotional and amazing, because my mum had told me that when my nan was dying, one of the last things she said to her was: 'Tell Kieron I know he's gay, he's always been gay, and I love him.'
"That was one of the last things my nan ever said and she knew before I knew."
The actor also added that he had a "grievance" with the way newspapers handled the situation at the time, sharing that he thinks the "ethics [are] completely wrong"
"A straight person shouldn't be on the front of whatever newspaper saying: 'Guess what guys, I'm straight, give me all this money for saying it!'" he shared.
"The ethics were completely wrong and I wanted to get through this dancing competition just on that and either not get sympathy votes, or it could have gone the other way, people could have said: 'Get him out!'"
After letting his family know about his sexuality, Kieron explained that it wasn't until a new producer joined Hollyoaks and told the actor that they wanted to Ste to come out as gay that he considered going public himself.
"I had to think about it," he admitted. "I don't think it was because I was gay they were making the character gay, but it was interesting that they were going to do this domestic abuse in a same-sex relationship and then I'd just been the abuser in a teenage domestic violence story.
"They turned the abuser into the victim, it was a brilliant story. I went away and thought about it and thought: 'Let's do this.'"
He added: "Obviously every single interview I would have done would have been: 'Can you relate to Ste? Tell us about your sexuality.' I didn't want to lie so I thought I'd have to tell everybody."
Kieron admitted that his experiences with the newspapers during his time on Dancing on Ice ruled out that option, and ultimately he decided to come out on television on This Morning in an interview with Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.
"From that boy in school who was petrified and that boy on Dancing on Ice who wanted to hide it, to so publicly do it, I thought I was going to own it," he added.
Don't Filter Feelings, hosted by presenter and journalist Lauren Layfield, features conversations about important issues with celebrity guests and Hollyoaks cast members, who will share personal stories of their life-changing experiences.
Other Hollyoaks stars appearing on the podcast include Amy Conachan (Courtney Campbell) and Talia Grant (Brooke Hathaway).
Hollyoaks airs weeknights at 6.30pm on Channel 4, with first look screenings at 7pm on E4.
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