Truth be told, John Cho and I went on our On A Date a few months ago. We talked about everything and anything, and as I was working late one Friday night putting the final touches on this piece, word came down from ABC that Selfie (the sitcom starring Cho and Karen Gillan) was canceled. "You've got to be kidding me," I thought. Cho, who I caught up with last week as he was trudging through the snow at Sundance, echoed my sentiment: "I was surprised because I felt very strongly about its quality—not that that has a correlation to whether a show survives. I just thought it was such a good show. In the grand scheme of things, I guess that's how the world works, but I'm sad about it. The upside is that I got to work with an exceptional group of people. I even had dinner with Karen Gillan a couple of nights ago, in fact."
On the positive side, aside from starring in two films that premiered at Sundance (Zipper and Grandma), he also makes his debut on The Mindy Project tonight—a role that Mindy Kaling wrote with John in mind. So how did it all come together? What's next? And what is it like to go on a date with John Cho? Read on!
Glamour: Well, selfishly I now get to go on technically two dates with you, so this works in my favor. But let's talk about tonight's episode of The Mindy Project. When I spoke to Mindy, she told me she was quite jealous we went on a date.
John Cho: Oh wow, I love it! I happen to think Mindy is tremendous. I'm so thrilled to do that show. I've been following her for a long time, and she's a hero of mine.
Glamour: How did the role come about?
John: She wrote a nice letter, and I said "Absolutely." I'm real easy! I play a drug dealer. I thought that seemed appropriate given my past acting credits. [Laughs] It seems funny to me.
Glamour: She said there's a chance that your character might come back for additional episodes. Would you be up for it?
John: Sure. I actually really liked the people on that set. It seemed like a good vibe there, so I would love to. When Mindy Kaling asks, I try my best to say yes.
A photo posted by Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) on Jan 14, 2015 at 8:57pm PST
Glamour: Let's talk about you. You lived in Seoul, South Korea, for six years until your family moved to the States in 1978. What were your earliest memories?
John Cho: I have glimpses. I remember coming home when television started, like it was only on for a few hours at night. So we'd come home during the evening to watch cartoons.
Glamour: When did you start speaking English?
John: I grew up speaking Korean, but my dad spoke English very well. I learned a lot of how to speak English by watching television. Sesame Street early on and then Little House on the Prairie was a big deal in our house. I always identified with Little House because they were wanderers and there was something about being an immigrant. You know, Pa always wanted to move west. I also loved Three's Company.
Glamour: Have you gotten a chance to meet anybody from Little House or Three's Company?
John: I met the girl who played Nellie Olson many, many years ago. I asked her for a picture. She was beautiful. I haven't met anyone from the cast of Three's Company, but I did meet Jason Ritter and said, "I need to shake your hand and maybe your dad will feel this handshake because..." I'm getting a little worked up [talking about it]. He was a beautiful comic actor.
John and I lunched at The Black Cat (one of his favorites!) on Sunset Boulevard in the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles.
Glamour: Before you came to Los Angeles you lived in Seattle and Houston and a few other cities in California. How did moving around shape you?
John: That's a question for my therapist, really. I feel like it led to a feeling of instability that I've been chasing all my adult life. I compensate for that by being the new kid at school all the time in my professional life. At some point I was like, "Why do I do this?" I must like it. It's bittersweet because ending the job and beginning a new job, they're both tough. But what's interesting about acting is you get to know each other and have an intense period of intimacy and then you say goodbye. There's something very interesting about that, and maybe other people couldn't handle that or would dislike it. I think actors must on some level enjoy that kind of serial monogamy.
Glamour: What were you like in high school?
John: I was learning to be the cut up or the clown. I was still very shy around new people, but that's where the performing thing begin.
Glamour: You went to UC Berkeley and got a B.A. in English. Impressive. And you actually used your degree to go teach English in a private school in West Hollywood, right?
John: You know, it's so funny, it was easier to get a job teaching than it was to get a job waiting tables. There's so many actors, and that's what they want to do because the hours are good for auditions.
Glamour: Earlier you talked about going to therapy, which I think is fantastic. Why are you such a big proponent of it?
John: I think my wife...I know it's an old joke that women get their husbands to go to therapy, but men don't talk enough about it. God bless my guy friends, who are great, especially when they say, "Dude, you're gonna get through this. Let me buy you a drink," but there's only so much they can do for you.
Glamour: So true.
John: I do appreciate any person that buys me a drink or pats me on the back and offers words of encouragement, but it's not quite the same as someone...
Glamour: Who's objective and can see both sides.
John: Yes, and it's hard to even talk to your wife or girlfriend about the deepest parts. I think we try to protect our women so much. Particularly because I'm a dad, and I try to be the soldier in our family. So it's kind of nice to have somebody who I can be completely weak with and it's for a set period of time and you don't have to go do anything with them after.
Glamour: Ha! Exactly.
John: Hopefully you don't see them at Gelson's [supermarket].
Glamour: How did you know you had what it took to make a living as an actor?
John: I don't know whether I ever knew. To some extent I still believe this [job] is my last job.
Glamour: After teaching, you worked with the Asian American Theatre Company's East West Players. How did you get your first agent?
John: An older actor who was in the show that I did recommended me. Is it Blanche DuBois that says, "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers?" You know how you remember those people in your life? They didn't have to, but they went out of their way?
Glamour: They are few and far between, but when it happens, it make such a big impact.
Glamour: You had an early role on Felicity. What was that like?
John: I remember J.J. Abrams wanting to do 25 takes on this small-ass scene, but in different ways. Not because he was trying to coax a particular performance out of me, but him just like, "Why don't we try one..." I have a very strong memory of this guy knowing his shit, and I'm glad to say I was correct. Boy, that hasn't changed. The guy is a savant.
Glamour: Is that how you ended up getting the role in the Star Trek movies? Because of your relationship with J.J.?
John: I don't know. It's not like we kept in touch. I auditioned for that role and I have no idea if those are interconnected, but yeah, I guess I knew him when.
Glamour: What's your biggest frustration with Hollywood?
John: I think Hollywood acts like followers of culture and is constantly seeking to follow trends. I just feel like we could be doing much more interesting stuff and starting a chain of events. Starting and leading social trends and leading artistic movements. And yet I think the town is not as courageous as it could be. It certainly is in a position to influence more than it does.
Glamour: I once got an email from a fan of The Mindy Project that said, "I'm so glad you've never once brought up Mindy being in an interracial romance." You know, I never even thought twice about it. To me, they are just great characters who have insane chemistry. Yet when I was googling articles and past interviews with you, almost every one mentioned something about being an Asian American in Hollywood or the fact that you starred on a sitcom that had an Asian American lead. Do you wish that that could just not be a topic of discussion?
John: That would be cool. However, I also think on the other side the people take pride in it too. So that's the flip side of that coin. On the one hand you're like, "Hey, can we stop talking about this? Can you just watch?" But on the other hand, it's a cool feeling that for Koreans or for Asians they're like, "Hey that guy..." When I was a kid there was nobody Asian on television, so when I saw George Takei in Star Trek that was very exciting. I know that people...there is a connection when people see somebody that looks like them. So I'm of two mind about it. I'm conflicted, you know. I see both sides.
Glamour: Totally. It just never even dawned on me to think, Oh, how about that? There's an Asian guy as a romantic lead. It was just, Oh yeah, I love John Cho. He's charming, funny, and perfect for this role. The end.
John: That's awesome. God bless you.
Glamour: What's on your bucket list as an actor?
John: I'd like to do Shakespeare. I'd also like to do an action movie in Korea. I'd like to do another movie in New York.
Glamour: I wrote down a list of all your acting credits. Go through them and pick out your top five favorite performances or roles.
John: OK, go!
Glamour: No, that's for you to do. [Laughs] I was not in these movies! You have to tell me.
John: Oh, ha-ha. OK! My genuine top five...here they are: 1) Harold and Kumar because they're the ones people know. I get fist bumps all over the world for that. 2) American Pie because that gave me my start. 3) Star Trek 'cause I always wanted to be on a space ship. 4) Selfie, for sure. 5) Total Recall because I was a blond, and it's fun being blond.
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Glamour: By the way, as a die-hard fan of Friends, what was it like costarring with Matthew Perry in Go On?
John: No one is better at being funny than him. He's very meticulous, very generous. My regret on that show is that I was too, like, "I'm working with Matthew Perry" the whole time. I never relaxed.
Glamour: Really?
John: I was so excited to be working with Matthew. I've stolen more from him as an actor than anyone else on earth. I just stole all my moves from that boy. It was a little embarrassing to be with him. But I adore him. Boy, is he a good guy.
Glamour: Your wife, Kerri, was on an episode of Selfie and also guest-starred on Grey's Anatomy for a few episodes a couple years back. How often does she work?
John: She's mainly a stay-at-home mom, but she's such a good actor. I've learned a lot from her.
Glamour: You've been married for eight years. How did you and Kerri meet?
John: We met at UC Berkeley and dated later when we both came to L.A.
Glamour: So what drew you to her?
John: My wife was confident in a way that I was very attracted to. She knows who she is. I knew nothing about that. I was so unsettled at that age and so scatterbrained. It's beautiful when you see a person who's self-assured and knows who she is.
Glamour: What was your wedding like?
John: It was a lot of fun. We had it in Northern California on New Year's Eve. I was just fuzzy with affection that night. But it was a big deal! It's like putting on a one night only show. You're the producer and director and the star, so you're busy. And you're the host, so you've got a lot going on. I'd like to do it again.
Glamour: Really?
John: Yeah, in front of our kids.
Glamour: That's so sweet. What relationship advice will you give your son one day?
John: Look for a girl who's kind. It's telling. Compassion.
Glamour: What will you tell your daughter? Never date?
John: Ha. No, no, hmm. I would say, "Look for a man who knows the difference between right and wrong." It's surprisingly hard to find.
Glamour: Don't I know it.
Glamour: What kind of boyfriend were you in previous relationships?
John Cho: It varies. Sometimes I was not good. Sometimes I was terrible. I think I had a wandering eye with some, but sometimes I was suffocating. Sometimes I was distant. Man, I was a mess when I was younger. I shouldn't have really started dating till I was 35 because I feel like I wasn't formed until I hit 30. I was just an idiot for most of my 20s. I got married at 34. Marriage is serious business if you're starting a family. You've got to be committed.
Glamour: Your parents have been together almost 45 years. What have they taught you?
John: My friends who are Korean were surprised that my parents are physically affectionate with each other in front of people. Their display of love was very important to me. As I told you, I was a dumb young man. But when I got it right, I got it right. I think I owe that to my folks. And it is true that you look to replace those relationships. My parents still touch each other. They're each other's best friends.
Glamour: This feels funny going from such a sweet topic to such a raunchy one, but at what point will you let your kids watch American Pie?
John: Hopefully never! No, I'd let them. American Pie...what I did was terrible, but the movie is very sweet. So maybe with their first beer? I remember being out of the country when American Pie came out, and I was really confused because the working title was East Great Falls High. It changed, obviously, but no one told me. It was a small movie with no stars except for Eugene Levy, who isn't like Tom Cruise or anything. When I came back to the States, unbeknownst to me, it was this pop-culture phenomenon. And so people were going American Pie, and I was like, "What the f--k are they saying?" They're like, "MILF!" I had forgotten about it.__
Glamour: American Pie changed the industry because it ushered in a new, much younger Hollywood. Every studio and network wanted to emulate its success.
John: It may not be the best movie ever, but it's one of those cones in the road. You're like, "Oh, something happened there." You know, there are certain movies that are that. American Pie was.
Don't forget to watch The Mindy Project (with John!) tonight on Fox at 9:30 P.M./8:30 P.M. CT.
__What's your favorite John Cho movie or TV role? And what most impressed you about his views on dating and relationships?
